loudon | ic spam

you're welcome. whenever you need someone to talk shit with, slide into my DMs. PLEASE.

I will. Likewise.

even if they're co-workers?

Yeah, I'll never tell.

Here, I'll start: HR Quinlan is cheating on HR Watson with Nurse Sequoia, but HR Watson is also cheating with Nurse Sequoia at the same time.

OH MY GOD? and i thought i was bad by trying to date co-workers. honestly, getting involved with anyone in HR sounds like a nightmare.

i was just going to say max is my ex and also my neighbor and i've been thinking about trying to get back with him but he also pisses me off. [...] i wasn't going to say ALL that but you gave me something juicy so i feel i have to give something back.

I would steer clear of HR. And dating a co-worker didn't work out well for me, and now I have to deal with having done that on top of everything else.

Don't get back with your ex. He's your ex for a reason.

it's so hard to NOT hook up with your co-workers when we all live with each other and see each other every day. i'm even starting to have weird thoughts about zeke but i think that's because i love embarrassingly pathetic men and he's really been going through it lately. he's been screaming at his phone because speech to text won't let him write fuck.

I know, I know, I know. It's not easy to meet people you don't work with when you live in a literal bubble. I think if, god forbid, I ever date anyone here again, I'll at least make sure they're not in my department.

Aw, poor Zeke. Do y'all more snacks over there? A subscription to Audible?

unfortunate for you because explorers are the hottest department. i'm not strong enough to turn down someone willing to protect me while i do my field research.

zeke's FINE, he just doesn't realize he can toggle off the profanity filter in settings.

I can neither agree nor disagree with you on that. Watch out for Explorer Darby, though—he'll promise to protect you and then run away screaming at the first sign of bugs.

Is he still blind? That's gotta be spooky.

thanks for the warning. he's exactly my type.

he is. it is. don't tell him i said this because it'll give him anxiety to know he's being Perceived, but he really is one of the strongest people i know. the universe has a vendetta against him but he always finds a way to roll with the punches.

Yeah, no. He'll leave you in a hole if a ladybug lands on him. Trust me, I know this from experience.

Yeah, I know he is. I do still worry about him, though. Can't help it. Don't tell him I said that.

he needs to not hang out with plant people if he's so afraid of bugs.

yeah. i worry about him too. but he can't know that it's worry. please keep feeding him, though, it's appreciated. 🙏

That's exactly what I told him.

[...] Does he know it's me? I feel like if he knew he might be insulted, but my mom would haunt me if I didn't at least try.

it's very obvious that it's you, what-can-i-do-for-you lou.

Fuck!!!

i didn't know it was a secret?? were we supposed to be eating anonymous pizza rolls?

I don't know. I just didn't want y'all to get hurt feelings or think I'm weird in a bad way.

I didn't take care of myself when I was your age, but maybe I'm projecting.

when you were our age... ten years ago? do you even take care of yourself now?

Yeah, I didn't take care of myself then and I still don't.

oh, lou, you are so precious. everyone in this employee dorm is a disaster but thank you for choosing us, specifically, because i hate cooking and i love that you were trying to Easter Bunny us into consuming more nutrients.

[...] Okay, well I'm glad you're not just throwing it out. Thank you. I'm sorry for worrying about you.

[...] I didn't actually find out I'd developed photosynthesis until I realised it didn't bug me any more when I hyperfocused so hard that I forgot to eat lunch, or whatever, so. Y'know. Eat the food. Don't be as dumb as I am.

i'm hard to permakill and zeke is a garbage disposal so it would get eaten even if it was delivered by a classic disney witch and had bright green vapors coming off it that formed a skull and crossbones.

oh that's kind of how i found out i don't need food either. when i'm lazy i just wear a camelbak.

Okay, good. Because I did recognize that the execution was weird but also sometimes when I was back home someone would just drop off a mystery casserole and we'd eat it.

🤝 Also: smart.

oh, i'm VERY familiar with the drop-and-go meals. i owe my life to weird neighbors.

DM - 6/18

loudon - 2023-06-19 23:28 (UTC) - Expand