loudon | ic spam

I never said I wouldn't judge. I'll judge anything. I'm a proud hater. The whole "what is art?" argument is just a big philosophical thing that maybe I shouldn't have read into so literally.

I can eat food, I just don't need to. Kind of like how a carnivorous plant doesn't need to eat insects, but it can if the opportunity comes up. I don't really get hungry in the conventional sense but sometimes I want a little taco as a treat, or whatever. If that makes sense. But it's more work than just passively absorbing sunlight.

No, you understood me right the first time. I’ll judge and say something isn’t art lmfao. I think big philosophical arguments are fun. […] And count as art lmfao.

So do you have favorite foods you go for when you want a little carnivorous plant treat? What’s your flavor profile?

Oh, all right, then. I do love a big, philosophical argument. One of my specialties used to be taking stuff that rich, fancy assholes didn't consider to be art and arguing that it was had more cultural value than whatever nepo baby shit they were into that month.

There's a little vegan shawarma place in Boston that's pretty good. Also: Montréal bagels. Spicy miso ramen. If I'm gonna go through the effort of eating something, it's got to be way better than soggy cafeteria egg salad sandwiches, y'know? I used to be really into cooking, but it's usually just not worth the bother now.

What about you?

Your most infamous argument then, go.

This is a very disparate flavor profile, my friend lol. You’re hard to pin down. I like to think that I’ll eat anything, but that’s not true. Cheese is a hit and miss with me. Not especially crazy about cream-based pastas. I never had Caesar salad before boarding school, and even to this day I have to be in the right headspace for it and steel myself.

Well, now I'm self-conscious. I'm not defending a thesis any more. What if I hate on Banksy and you throw me in the lake?

Sorry! I dunno, I'm just going off the top of my head. I wasn't a big cheese fan even when I still ate cheese. Not really much of a dairy guy. I don't "get" Caesar salad. It's just wet lettuce.

I’d have to touch you to throw you into the lake, and I can’t, so you’re safe from these philosophical hands. Visual art isn’t really my forte, anyway. When I was 11, I’d sit with a book of Thomas Kinkade paintings at the JEF library and pretend I lived in one of the houses lmfao. I’ll probably accept anything you say re: art—unless you say Thomas Kinkade is dope, because I know better about that now.

Shit, I can get away with anything, then.

Thomas Kinkade paintings are made to sell jigsaw puzzles.

I hope that wasn’t your most controversial argument.

It wasn't. That's just an irrefutable fact.

One of these days I’ll get an actual big philosophical controversy out of you.

But I was asking about food because I’m making cold noodles with eggs and I was wondering if you wanted some? If that’s not your bag and digesting would be too much of a hassle, no pressure and no worries.

You already got my dislike of money, capitalism, and nationalism.

That sounds good. I'll have a little, but not too much? If it's not too much of a hassle.

We need to go bigger, Lou.

And it’s not a hassle! I’ll drop it off later. Have a good nap.

Thank you. You really are too kind.

~~YOU! GAVE ME! THE WEED SAMPLER! FIRST!!!!!! YOU ARE KILLING ME DOCTOR LOU SWEETAPPLE!!!!!~~

Two glass tupperware containers: one with cold buckwheat noodles, sliced cucumber, and a halved soft boiled egg; the other with a cold, slushy-like broth garnished with green onion. And a sticky note, which reads,

Hope this fuels the controversy.

- Jack

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left outside Lou’s apartment, early evening 7/4